Why Are Fat Women Expected To Do So Much Emotional Labour?

Microaggressions — in case you don’t know — are the everyday verbal, nonverbal and environmental slights, snubs or insults, whether intentional or unintentional, which communicate hostile, derogatory or negative messages to target persons based solely upon their marginalized group membership…

… A slight can take the form of people taking advantage of your professional or personal time because they see your time as less valuable or presume that you will be willing to make up the time later. Or, worse yet, they don’t imagine that you are competitive or able to create upward professional mobility for yourself.

A slight can be someone taking advantage of your time or resources because they are banking on your inability to set boundaries. We know from research and also from personal experience that fat women are taught not to value our bodies and our resources and so we find boundary-setting more challenging…

… A slight can take the form of presumption that you are always interested in helping because that is your role in society so why shouldn’t it be your role in their relationship with you?

All of these behaviors slowly erode your mental health and ultimately your physical self. You have the right to recognize this behavior as undesirable and act accordingly…

… Take the extra time you have gained and put it into a project you care about, or a deadline you’ve been avoiding that will help YOUR professional or personal life. Stop giving away your labor and your power and your energy to people who are essentially fatphobic vampires. It’s not your job to take care of them or teach them to be better people. It’s your job to take care of you.

Excellent advice from Virgie. Read more here.

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